Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
New Blog?
Hey gals,
I feel like I might be ready to start blogging again. Not the same blog - something new and fresh and less personal, but still real and interesting. There are so many great blogs that I adore to read every day, so in thinking about what I want to blog about, I can't get these blogs out of my head. But these guys do their own thing so well and there is clearly no point at all in me copying them.
Smart Pretty & Awkward
Go Fug Yourself
Garance Doré
Gala Darling
Sarah Wilson
And of course all of your blogs too!
So it would be awesome to know what you guys love about blogs, and if there is anything from my past blog history that you've loved and would like to see me do a bit more of, please let me know!
xx
I feel like I might be ready to start blogging again. Not the same blog - something new and fresh and less personal, but still real and interesting. There are so many great blogs that I adore to read every day, so in thinking about what I want to blog about, I can't get these blogs out of my head. But these guys do their own thing so well and there is clearly no point at all in me copying them.
Smart Pretty & Awkward
Go Fug Yourself
Garance Doré
Gala Darling
Sarah Wilson
And of course all of your blogs too!
So it would be awesome to know what you guys love about blogs, and if there is anything from my past blog history that you've loved and would like to see me do a bit more of, please let me know!
xx
Friday, March 11, 2011
Death by Chocolate
Death by chocolate is myth
This I know because I lived
I've been around for broken hearts and how
Lay your head in my hands little girl
This is only right now
Death by crying doesn't exist, though
The headaches feel a bit like it
You might explode
But you reach the end of the road
And you, little tree
I'm certain you will grow
Tears on your pillow will dry and you will learn
Just how to love again
Oh my weeping willow
Let your leaves fall and return
Oh darling the seasons are your friend
Death by anger this is true
Just let him go he can't hurt you
Oh little girl this is such a cruel cruel world
This is the first, of a million broken hearts
Tears on your pillow will dry and you will learn
Just how to love again
Oh my weeping willow
Let your leaves fall and return
Oh darling the seasons are your friend
Oh it won't be long you will grow strong
Up up and away
He's but a falling leaf, he's but a falling leaf, he's but a falling leaf
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
The End
Hello my lovely friends,
I know it's been a long time. Probably because I've been afraid to write anything about this inevitable event.
We broke up last night. Or to be more specific - he broke up with me. But I had been thinking about it for a while. Well, I think around 30% of me was thinking about breaking up with him. The other 70% of me was hoping against hope that it was going to work.
His reason? He can't commit to a long term relationship with me. He fears he is too shallow, and like his father before him, he will leave me for a younger woman in 5, 10, 20 years. He possibly could keep it going, but he doesn't know for how long, and he doesn't feel sure enough that it will end happily ever after, so he wants to stop disappointing me and let me go.
I told him I felt sorry for him. That he would end up alone. 'Probably..' he said.. And he knows he will regret breaking up with me, but I told him there would be no second chance.
It's all him, it's not me. I gave the best of myself to the relationship. I tried my hardest, but also probably gave up some of myself in the process. I felt I compromised for him, because I feared if I pressed too hard for what I wanted, I would lose him.
I'm not going to blog any more for a while. I don't feel that there is anything I can talk about. I'm just going to try and piece myself back together again and carry on.
I don't think NYC is in the picture any more - I do still desperately want to go there, but not until I'm in a better frame of mind. And he is going back there at the end of this month anyway. Right now all I can think about is moving back to Sydney. The problem there is that I do actually love my job and don't really want to leave it. But I miss my family and my friends so terribly, that I just feel alone now in Wellington. I have 'friends' but no-one I feel very close to.
How do I get through this? Everyone says - keep busy, make a clean break, don't contact him. I know that's what I have to do, but my heart is so far down in my stomach right now, that all I want to do is curl up into a little hole and disappear. Yes, time will heal it. And I know it's for the best. It was only making me sad anyway, and today is the beginning of the end of that sadness. Is that a positive? I think it has to be. I know this feeling of despair will pass - it always does. I know I will feel better. I just can't see it yet.
My plan tonight - to go straight to yoga class at 8pm. Skype my friend Cathie at 9:30pm. Try and get some sleep (because I have just had my first entirely sleepless night last night). Then tomorrow night I am going to look at a potential new flat to move to, in a different suburb.
I feel like the past 11 months since we started properly dating has been a waste of time. What a horrible feeling. Please let it pass quickly!
xx
I know it's been a long time. Probably because I've been afraid to write anything about this inevitable event.
We broke up last night. Or to be more specific - he broke up with me. But I had been thinking about it for a while. Well, I think around 30% of me was thinking about breaking up with him. The other 70% of me was hoping against hope that it was going to work.
His reason? He can't commit to a long term relationship with me. He fears he is too shallow, and like his father before him, he will leave me for a younger woman in 5, 10, 20 years. He possibly could keep it going, but he doesn't know for how long, and he doesn't feel sure enough that it will end happily ever after, so he wants to stop disappointing me and let me go.
I told him I felt sorry for him. That he would end up alone. 'Probably..' he said.. And he knows he will regret breaking up with me, but I told him there would be no second chance.
It's all him, it's not me. I gave the best of myself to the relationship. I tried my hardest, but also probably gave up some of myself in the process. I felt I compromised for him, because I feared if I pressed too hard for what I wanted, I would lose him.
I'm not going to blog any more for a while. I don't feel that there is anything I can talk about. I'm just going to try and piece myself back together again and carry on.
I don't think NYC is in the picture any more - I do still desperately want to go there, but not until I'm in a better frame of mind. And he is going back there at the end of this month anyway. Right now all I can think about is moving back to Sydney. The problem there is that I do actually love my job and don't really want to leave it. But I miss my family and my friends so terribly, that I just feel alone now in Wellington. I have 'friends' but no-one I feel very close to.
How do I get through this? Everyone says - keep busy, make a clean break, don't contact him. I know that's what I have to do, but my heart is so far down in my stomach right now, that all I want to do is curl up into a little hole and disappear. Yes, time will heal it. And I know it's for the best. It was only making me sad anyway, and today is the beginning of the end of that sadness. Is that a positive? I think it has to be. I know this feeling of despair will pass - it always does. I know I will feel better. I just can't see it yet.
My plan tonight - to go straight to yoga class at 8pm. Skype my friend Cathie at 9:30pm. Try and get some sleep (because I have just had my first entirely sleepless night last night). Then tomorrow night I am going to look at a potential new flat to move to, in a different suburb.
I feel like the past 11 months since we started properly dating has been a waste of time. What a horrible feeling. Please let it pass quickly!
xx
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