Hello you gorgeous girls! Thank you all for your warm thoughts in my final countdown for The Boy's return - it was an anxious few days, and you should have felt my heart booming through my chest as I stood at Gate 10 waiting for him to get off the plane... My whole body was shaking!
Just a quick update to let you know all is well..
The Boy is BACK! Phew!
We're still settling in and getting used to each other again..
Taking it slow..
Remembering why we like each other..
Really looking forward to finishing work for the year and having some lovely lazy days to hang out with him..
Smiling!
xx
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Cold Feet
I love that this is a place where I can be completely honest. You gals are really the only ones who read my posts, with no judgements - it's awesome!
Ok - truth? I'm freaking out about the Boy's return in 5 days. FREAKING. OUT. (ps - Em - thankyou again!! xxx)
But not all the time.
When I am freaking out, I have butterflies in my stomach, I feel anxious, I feel insecure, and I feel sad. I feel nervous.
When I'm not freaking out, bizarrely - and believe me, I never thought this was how I would feel - I'm kind of indifferent. My indifferent moments are sweetened by the fact that I was promoted at work yesterday. I'm finally, officially, a producer! Well, a 'Post Producer' to be exact. You film chicks know what that means aye? So I'm very excited!! And with a massive workload coming up in the next couple of weeks before the Chrissie break, and pretty much the first half of next year, I have so much to keep me busy, it's sort of steered me into a headspace where I'm happy to be busy and 'single' and saving $$.
Well.. maybe not 100% happy. But surviving and smiling at least! I think I've kind of been preparing myself for the worst. For the possibility that he will come back to NZ and break up with me. Fearing that he has decided over the past 5 months that I'm not the one for him. Not that I've told him this.. Geez - way to exercise whatever the opposite of the law of attraction is Ali.. To him, I'm as positive as I can possibly be!
Anyway - 5 more days and I'm sure things will become much clearer to me. I don't want to spoil that magic airport moment that has occupied my daydreams for so long by lowering my expectations too much - I really still can't wait to see him again and hug him and laugh..
But I just don't know what is going to happen..
xx
Ok - truth? I'm freaking out about the Boy's return in 5 days. FREAKING. OUT. (ps - Em - thankyou again!! xxx)
But not all the time.
When I am freaking out, I have butterflies in my stomach, I feel anxious, I feel insecure, and I feel sad. I feel nervous.
When I'm not freaking out, bizarrely - and believe me, I never thought this was how I would feel - I'm kind of indifferent. My indifferent moments are sweetened by the fact that I was promoted at work yesterday. I'm finally, officially, a producer! Well, a 'Post Producer' to be exact. You film chicks know what that means aye? So I'm very excited!! And with a massive workload coming up in the next couple of weeks before the Chrissie break, and pretty much the first half of next year, I have so much to keep me busy, it's sort of steered me into a headspace where I'm happy to be busy and 'single' and saving $$.
Well.. maybe not 100% happy. But surviving and smiling at least! I think I've kind of been preparing myself for the worst. For the possibility that he will come back to NZ and break up with me. Fearing that he has decided over the past 5 months that I'm not the one for him. Not that I've told him this.. Geez - way to exercise whatever the opposite of the law of attraction is Ali.. To him, I'm as positive as I can possibly be!
Anyway - 5 more days and I'm sure things will become much clearer to me. I don't want to spoil that magic airport moment that has occupied my daydreams for so long by lowering my expectations too much - I really still can't wait to see him again and hug him and laugh..
But I just don't know what is going to happen..
xx
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