Breathing again..

Hello you gorgeous girls! Thank you all for your warm thoughts in my final countdown for The Boy's return - it was an anxious few days, and you should have felt my heart booming through my chest as I stood at Gate 10 waiting for him to get off the plane... My whole body was shaking!

Just a quick update to let you know all is well..

The Boy is BACK! Phew!

We're still settling in and getting used to each other again..

Taking it slow..

Remembering why we like each other..

Really looking forward to finishing work for the year and having some lovely lazy days to hang out with him..

Smiling!

xx

Cold Feet

I love that this is a place where I can be completely honest. You gals are really the only ones who read my posts, with no judgements - it's awesome!

Ok - truth? I'm freaking out about the Boy's return in 5 days. FREAKING. OUT. (ps - Em - thankyou again!! xxx)

But not all the time.

When I am freaking out, I have butterflies in my stomach, I feel anxious, I feel insecure, and I feel sad. I feel nervous.

When I'm not freaking out, bizarrely - and believe me, I never thought this was how I would feel - I'm kind of indifferent. My indifferent moments are sweetened by the fact that I was promoted at work yesterday. I'm finally, officially, a producer! Well, a 'Post Producer' to be exact. You film chicks know what that means aye? So I'm very excited!! And with a massive workload coming up in the next couple of weeks before the Chrissie break, and pretty much the first half of next year, I have so much to keep me busy, it's sort of steered me into a headspace where I'm happy to be busy and 'single' and saving $$.

Well.. maybe not 100% happy. But surviving and smiling at least! I think I've kind of been preparing myself for the worst. For the possibility that he will come back to NZ and break up with me. Fearing that he has decided over the past 5 months that I'm not the one for him. Not that I've told him this.. Geez - way to exercise whatever the opposite of the law of attraction is Ali.. To him, I'm as positive as I can possibly be!

Anyway - 5 more days and I'm sure things will become much clearer to me. I don't want to spoil that magic airport moment that has occupied my daydreams for so long by lowering my expectations too much - I really still can't wait to see him again and hug him and laugh..

But I just don't know what is going to happen..

xx

Spicy Icecream

New Blog!! Well, it's not a new blog - has been going since 2007, but it's new to me... spicy icecream - check it out!

I love stumbling upon things like this - a friend on Facebook called for everyone to advise on some new food blogs so she could get some kitchen inspiration. This was one that someone added to the list and the name alone (with my sweet tooth..!) was enough to make me want to check it out.

Looks like she's a Sydney chick who loves not only experimenting in the kitchen, but also trying out incredible restaurants and photographing and reviewing her meals. I love these sorts of blogs!! They make your mouth water, and give you the best look at what you're really going to experience going to these places..

Straight away my eye is caught by this recipe - Quince and Rhubarb Ripple Icecream!! However, I have a problem with my current accomodation.... No freezer.... But it's going on my list of things to try someday soon when I live in a PROPER house....

So close, yet still so far...

Sorry for the lack of updates lately! It's been a little hard getting used to the idea that my Boy pushed his "Return To NZ" date back by a whole 12 days.... It may not sound like much, but considering I was expecting him to return next Wednesday, but now it's still 3 weeks away, I'm sure you can sympathise with me!!

Anyway - 3 weeks today and he will be back! Ugh - I'm so over waiting.... This has been P.A.I.N.F.U.L. The hardest part? The thinking about it constantly. I wish I could flick a switch in my brain to turn off the anxiety.

I'm trying to keep busy with a whole bunch of random things coming up - watching Jackass 3D tomorrow night (and trying not to vomit), watching Les Miserables (Cameron Mackintosh's 25th anniversary stage show on the big screen at the Embassy!) on Wednesday, CIB Surveillance Night on Friday (but that's another story.... involving a jaunt around the Welly CBD and $40 worth of alcohol in a very short space of time...), my monthly hot stone massage on Sunday, and the following couple of weeks will include a haircut, a wax, some Summer Glow, a major spring clean of my bedroom and the fridge, and quite a bit of fidgeting as I continue counting down!!

What I'm really looking forward to....

Giving him his birthday present - a little belated..

Hugging him!

Making plans for a NY holiday next year..

Christmas in Sydney - not with him, but something I'm hugely looking forward to anyway because it will be all of my sisters together for Christmas for the first time in I don't know how long!

New Years with him!

Going for lazy walks down by the water and sitting in the sunshine (with my 85+ sunscreen) holding hands..

Bring in the same room as him, instead of on the other side of a computer screen!

I hope you're all looking forward to your Aussie summer, or your UK/NY winter - wherever you may be!

Thinking of you all! xxx

Happy Birthday Boy

Yep - it's his birthday today. Well, today NZ time. Tomorrow NY time! 48 hour birthday - lucky thing!

Unfortunately, he's found himself kind of homeless this week.. He had to move out of his flat today, and can't move into his new flat until the end of this week, and this was all very last minute, and none of his friends have spare beds right now, so he has checked himself into The Jane for tonight. What awesome hotels they have in NYC! This was where the survivors of the Titanic were housed after it sunk in 1912!

He has a Standard Cabin, and it is just hilarious. I just skyped him an hour ago from his room, and the bed is literally 4 feet long! I asked him how many steps he could take to cross the room. His reply? 1.64. The bathroom? Down the hall - bring your soap-on-a-rope.

So it's certainly no 5 stars, but at $99/night, and an awesome location in the West Village, he can't complain. In fact, he finds it hilarious - quite a novelty for his 35th birthday.

Wish I was over there with him to celebrate!!

Oh yeah, and what did I get him for his birthday? Something from this guy...!! I've got it here in NZ so he doesn't know what it is yet, but will find out in 4 weeks!

Funky Funkis

My sister used to have a pair of brown clogs in the mid-90's. I hated them. I thought they were the ugliest shoes I had ever seen. She loved them. She wore them to death.

Clogs are back. And yes, Rach, I told you I still hated them.

But guess what I bought today......

They are Funkis! I can't seem to find the website that originally brought them to my attention last week (it will come to me sometime soon and I will update this post **UPDATE - of course it was the delicious Frankie Magazine!!) but I haven't been able to stop thinking about them since.

Then on Friday, I got my email newsletter from Good As Gold - my favourite jeans store in town - and saw that they are the NZ stockist for Funkis. So I raced down there this morning, determined to see whether or not they would make my ankles look fat (a serious concern when it comes to shoe shopping). They don't!! Hooray!! $219NZD later and I am the proud owner of the most adorable summer shoes I've ever owned. I intend to wear them to death. I'm sure you'll agree they're not really clogs..... They're made from lovely untreated leather, with wooden soles made from Swedish plantation timber, and they are made in Sweden! They're a little awkward to walk in but I'm sure I'll get used to it. The leather is also quite a bit lighter than it is on the website but I'm told it will darken quite a bit over time.

Here they are on my pale little feet (size 37 in these babies! I've never been a size 37 - normally 38 or even 39..) - I fear the traditional breaking-in couple of days may be a little painful.. But as they say - no pain, no gain!

They also sell them in the most beautiful blue, black snakeskin, red, purple patent and purple suede. Love!

33 days, 15 hours, 29 minutes, 18 seconds

Pic: Le Love

What I love is that by the time I've finished writing this post, it will be even less than that!

Just thought I'd update you lovely ladies with how things are going. I skyped my Boy this afternoon and he's great! Our usual skype time is at the end of my work day - 5pm here is midnight in NYC. He is a bit of a night owl - his work day is 10am-8pm-ish, and he's not usually in bed before midnight. Unlike me - I'm asleep by 11pm most nights... Nanna, I know... So when we skype, I'm either still at work, hiding away in an empty office with my laptop, or I race home to catch him before he nods off. He's usually in bed, and our conversation consists of a fair bit of yawning on his part towards the end. He's amazing, staying up late to talk to me - I'm so glad I get to be the one who is wide awake. I tried the waiting up late thing once to skype him in his morning, and it sucked... On average, we skype about every 3 or 4 days, which is awesome.

I'm so jealous that his Dad is flying over to NYC next Friday to spend 12 days with him. I wish there was room in his suitcase to take me!! So all he is focused on right now is the fact that he has to be out of his current flat in Brooklyn this Sunday, and find a 2-bedroom flat to share with his Dad before his Dad arrives next weekend. And because he wants to stay in Brooklyn, he's struggling to find a suitable place (not too expensive..!) in a nice (not dodgy..!) area.. He's not freaking out just yet, but starting to get a little desperate.

So it's still looking like December 1st for his return - though this could possibly change to a little later - he will hopefully know for sure this week. If it is later, I'll deal with it, but it's such a nice feeling right now that he's just under 5 weeks away from being back here in NZ with me. It's obviously starting to get colder over there now, and much warmer over here - it was 18 degrees today!! Scorcher! He won't want to stay too much beyond the end of November because he hates the cold weather. So fingers crossed he'll be on the flight he's currently booked on.

I'm feeling really great about everything - especially for the fact that we've been able to keep this going all this time. It's nearly 4 months since he left, and though we've had some quite honest chats about how things have been going while we've been apart, we're both determined to pick up where we left off very soon. Although it's not over yet, I can honestly tell you girls this is the hardest thing I've ever done. I've wanted to be in a relationship with someone wonderful for such a long time (a looooooong time...!!). To have it finally arrive this year, and shortly afterwards have it - in a sense - taken away from me, I can't tell you what a struggle it has been. It almost feels like a test.

So Al - you say you want this? Really? Well let's see just how much you want it biatch! Let's play hard ball. You get 5 more months of singledom, and then see how much you really want it Sweetheart.. 

Well - I still want it! So much! I can't wait for the summer, and I can't wait to decide what to do next year. There's a pesky little creature whispering in my ear, suggesting I should decide to stay in NZ for the next few years, but my hunger for other things is just that bit stronger at the moment. 

Let's see shall we!

x

All good things come to an end..

Oh geez I just re-read my title for this post and realised what you guys might think before you read it... Don't worry - nothing has ended for me!! Things are still great - I have survived 15 and a half weeks so far - with 5 and half to go! COME ON December 1st!!


So yes - Eat Pray Love (thanks for posing the question Rach!) whilst being an ordinary film, reminds us that nothing lasts forever. Sigh... We have to enjoy the good things while they are good. But at the same time, I guess all bad things also come to an end. I'm still digesting this article I read on smh today - the question is "should marriages have an expiry date?". Are you kidding me?! Apparently ONE THIRD of Australian marriages end in divorce. I cannot get over that figure. It blows me away.

Being obviously unmarried, I have no personal experience, other than the marriages within my family.

My Dad's parents were married until my Grandad died in the late 70's or early 80's - so, a long time..

My Mum's parents were married until my Grandma passed away almost 2 years ago - 58 years.

My parents have been married almost 33 years.

My sister has been married almost 4 years.

Of my 4 sets of Aunts/Uncles, only one was divorced many, many years ago. The rest have been married a long, long time.

On the other hand, my Boy's parents split when he was 16. His Dad remarried very happily, his Mum hasn't. This is new for me. Even most of my best friends' parents are still married.

In my mind - if/when I get married someday - it will be forever. FOREVER. I don't ever want to experience the pain of divorce. Especially if there are children involved. It makes me so mad to think that anyone would go into a marriage, either firstly for the wrong reasons, or secondly to give up on it. ONE THIRD of all Aussie marriages end in divorce - more than 40% ending within the first 10 years. Is it just me, or do those numbers sound a little ridiculous? Why get married at all? To have a big wedding? To make it legal? I don't quite get it.

I realise there are so many reason surrounding this, and so many angles to view it in, and that's not what I want to get into. All I know is what I feel, and what I want.

Don't get me wrong. I would LOVE to get married! If I ever get asked, I know it will be for the right reasons, and when I say yes, I will be saying yes with all my heart, and I will be making a lifetime commitment to that man. That's what marriage is to me. Or that's what it has always been in the past... It just makes me sad to think how many people believe they are doing the right thing, and then having it fall apart. Call me a romantic...

Pic: Le Love

How to back off when you're running out of time..

Sarah Wilson's post from Monday this week was really interesting. The 'penny dropped' for her that as she could live to be well over 100, there was no need to rush her life.

Given I have, potentially, 90 years left to go, then WHAT’S THE BLOODY RUSH? Why not back off a little? Take my time. My God! Yes! I don’t have to achieve it all by 40. I’ll need to save some fun for when I’m 80. You can’t begin to understand what a load off my being this is. Or perhaps you can? Most of my pain and discord comes from rushing…and feeling time is slipping past me.

It drew an immediate reaction from me so I commented on her post:

Alison says:

This is a great thought but not so easy to put into practice. I look forward to reading about your choices Sarah! Longevity is one thing, but my problem is…. If only us girls were able to relax over our body clocks – this is something we actually can’t just “back off” from, unless we don’t actually want a family.
It’s the one and only reason why anxiety makes it’s evil way into my gut over being a 31 year old female with a promising career and a new boyfriend – and my fears are in the following order – on top, that my relationship will fall apart and I’ll be single again for the next 10 years and lose my chance at having a family (but at least I can pursue my career..) – and next in line, that I start a family soon and lose my chance at making some big steps in my career before it’s too late (but at least I have a family..). Aargh.. I know what’s meant to happen will happen, but I wish we didn’t have this time limit imposed on us.

October 11th, 2010 at 11:21

I checked back yesterday and I can't tell you what a great feeling it was to know that I'm not alone with my fears. Here are two other comments following on from mine..

Rosie Kalber says:

Oh my goodness… Alison you could be me!! I’m 31 and in exactly the same position. I am craving babies and marriage so badly, i’m frightened i’m not going to get them… and my fear is causing me to be negative and pressure my boyfriend, and who knows, I may even end up driving him away.
It’s so hard – the having children part, because we DO have a time limit. I would like to still be fit and active when my children are in their 20’s, you know?
What to do though… let go and accept that things will fall into place in their own time? But what if they don’t? *sigh* It’s so difficult really.
Rosie

October 11th, 2010 at 13:51

Selena says:

Thankyou Sarah for writing this today – I needed to hear this message! Today is my last day in my 20s – big 3-0 tomorrow – and I am characteristically reflective of the things that I have (and have not) achieved. I relate to what Alison and Rosie have shared. I had an age-specific deadline of becoming a mother by now but things haven’t exactly gone to plan. I have however achieved many ‘other’ things – I have numerous university degrees, have travelled the world and have held numerous management positions – the current of which keeps me very busy! Similar to you, I was diagnosed with Hashimoto’s earlier this year and I know my pace needs to change; I resonate with Mia’s term of ‘grave racing’! However, while I could possibly back the force off with some pursuits, I can not accept the possibility of not having the life I have always dreamed of, and fear that I am also running out of time to get there…

October 11th, 2010 at 17:53

I do want a family. Not right at this very minute, but sometime in the next 4 or 5 years would be awesome. But you just can't plan it, as there are far too many variables. How can we relax when each month that passes us by is another month closer to being too old to have a family? What's meant to happen will happen, but I can't help but feel anxious that it could slip through my fingers.. Us girls definitely have it harder than the boys!

The Jezabels

It's been a while since I've continued my tours of NYC, so here we go again, with an absolutely guaranteed opportunity for you to star-spot me - if I was in NYC in two weeks time, you would find me here!!

Cultural Tour - 2nd Stop : The Jezabels

I fell in love with this incredible Aussie group in February, when I downloaded the weekly iTunes free track, "Hurt Me". It became one of the songs that helped me get around my 7km Round The Bays run, and I've been a fan ever since. I just need to track down their Debut "The Man is Dead" - already having the single from that EP, "Disco Biscuit Love", plus their last EP "She's So Hard", and their new EP "Dark Storm". LOVE, LOVE, LOVE!

So I would give anything to be in NY to see them perform, and I can only hope they come back when I'm actually over there! I'm not quite as good as you are Katie at describing why I love a particular band so much, but I'll give it a go! I love the scale of each track - the songs are definitely not shrinking violets. They are at the complete opposite end of the spectrum - epic (I hate this word but it is all I can think of right now to come close to how grand this music can be). The lead singer, Hayley, takes her voice to stunning Kate Bush heights in each track, and you have to play these songs loud! The pianist in me likes to imagine that I could be Heather, and the awesome drums keep everything moving which is why Hurt Me was such a great running motivator.

Have you guys been to any of these places? Which would be your pick for a gig like this?

Thursday October 21 - NY - Bowery Ballroom 8pm
Thursday October 21 - Brooklyn, NY - Union Hall 1am
Friday October 22 - NY - Piano's Upstairs Lounge
Saturday October 23 - NY - Fat Baby

Bookworm Part 2

I've lately been rediscovering my love of reading - after far too long forgetting how wonderful it is to lose yourself in an engrossing novel. I am pleased to report that since my last post, I have polished off the following amazing books:

Kafka on the Shore - Haruki Murakami

This was just amazing. It was a page-turner right from the start, and the most bizzarrely wonderful book I think I've ever read. A friend at work gave me her old copy, and I'm now on the hunt for Murakami's back catalogue - the most recommended of which is already on my bedside table waiting it's turn - you'll see it at the bottom of this post..

A Thousand Splendid Suns - Khaled Hosseini

This was just wonderful. I've not yet read The Kite Runner, by the same author, but it's on my list. A really intimate ad tragic telling of life under the Taliban in Afghanistan.

Mr Pip - Lloyd Jones

I was reading this when I wrote my last post, and it was fantastic! The film is being made in NZ - mostly being shot on location in PNG - really beautiful and visual and sad..

Never Let Me Go - Kazuo Ishiguro 

I was doing my regular check on Apple Trailers and came across the trailer for this film which is coming out soon - Never Let Me Go, directed by Mark Romanek - and it intrigued me so much. I immediately noted down in my diary the title and author of the book, and added it to my must-read list. Then a week later, I was perusing the DVD collection in my flat, and disappointingly realised that there was nothing new that I hadn't already seen. Then a moment later, my eyes flickered across the shelf to a stack of books, and I saw the words "Never Let Me Go". I can't tell you how excited I was! I started reading it straight away and finished it over three nights. I seriously recommend it!!

Somebody Loves Us All - Damien Wilkins

This is the book I've just started - my Boy's sister gave it to me for my birthday - Damien Wilkins is a Wellington author, and the story is so far based in Wellington, which is so strange, but nice as it feels like I know the characters already. I'll let you know what it's like when I'm done!

The Wind-up Bird Chronicle - Haruki Murakami

And this is next on my reading list - I'm itching to start it, knowing at least three people who say it is their favourite of all of Murakami's novels.

Lady in Tomato

This is me. In my dreams. Divine.

Pic: Garance Dore

14,401 kilometres

Distance is difficult. I should be used to it by now, having lived for two years in Scotland, and now almost two years in New Zealand. Things happen back home while you're away. Lives carry on. People change. But I'm so lucky that my relationships with the people I love don't change. We all know that a day or a week or a month or two without communication doesn't alter anything. We can pick up exactly where we left off quite easily. The reason for this is that we have had the time to build relationships that will last. We know so much about each other, and have shared so many experiences. We've had ups and downs, laughter and tears, and we've weathered it all to create a lasting bond with each other.

Such relationships don't form overnight - not so much those with our immediate family, but friendships in particular take years to become worth holding on to. That's what makes them so special.

What I've been learning over the past couple of months is to be patient. I'm in the midst of a brand new long-distance relationship. The Boy and I had only really been together for eight weeks before he left NZ for NYC, and he has now been away almost twelve weeks. I've been struggling lately with having to accept that we are in a holding pattern, with no real progress being made while this distance (14,401 kms..) is between us. To use The Boy's term, we really cannot expect our relationship to 'deepen' until we are back together in the same city. Do you know how hard it was to realise that?

It would be nice if the only thing separating us was this bridge...

 Henri Silberman

What is amazing to me about this is that we are still making it work! It is hard, believe me. Probably the hardest thing I've ever had to be patient about. This ain't no staring at the presents under the Christmas Tree and knowing you can't open them for another five sleeps... This is doing what I've always done - waking up alone, going to work, coming home, making dinner for one, and going to bed alone for another nine weeks (yep - currently Wednesday, 1st December is the date to get excited about, though ignoring the fact that I might be jinxing myself by writing this - it could be a couple of weeks later again.. sigh..) - but knowing there is a gorgeous boy coming to join me at the end of it. Impatience actually doesn't even come close to the way I'm feeling! There have been tears and frustrations - on my end of course. I am the one still going about my day-to-day life, being well behaved and saving my money, getting ready to move myself to NY next year. The Boy has somehow been able to flick the 'pause' switch without too much trouble.

What makes me smile is that we are still both happy to be patient, and wait until we are back in the same city again to pick up where we left off. How exciting! We haven't had time to get to know each other properly, but we also haven't had time to get sick of each other yet. What we have had time to do is decide that this is something worth waiting for.

So no more 'are we there yet? are we there yet?' from me. Rather, I'm getting the ball rolling by starting to make contact with people who can help me find work in NYC. Speaking of which - I welcome any and all suggestions from you girls (Katie, Ally...!!!)

Love Fridays

I Like You

- Sandol Stoddard Warburg

I like you and I know why.
I like you because you are a good person to like.
I like you because when I tell you something special, you know it's special
And you remember it a long, long time.
You say, "Remember when you told me something special?"
And both of us remember

When I think something is important
you think it's important too
We have good ideas
When I say something funny, you laugh
I think I'm funny and you think I'm funny too
Hah-hah!

I like you because you know where I'm ticklish
And you don't tickle me there except just a little tiny bit sometimes
But if you do, then I know where to tickle you too

You know how to be silly
That's why I like you
Boy are you ever silly
I never met anybody sillier than me till I met you
I like you because you know when it's time to stop being silly
Maybe day after tomorrow
Maybe never
Too late, it's a quarter past silly!

Sometimes we don't say a word
We snurkle under fences
We spy secret places
If I am a goofus on the roofus hollering my head off
You are one too
If I pretend I am drowning, you pretend you are saving me
If I am getting ready to pop a paper bag,
then you are getting ready to jump
HOORAY!

That's because you really like me
You really like me, don't you?
And I really like you back
And you like me back and I like you back
And that's the way we keep on going every day

If you go away, then I go away too
or if I stay home, you send me a postcard
You don't just say "Well see you around sometime, bye"
I like you a lot because of that
If I go away, I send you a postcard too
And I like you because if we go away together
And if we are in Grand Central Station
And if I get lost
Then you are the one that is yelling for me

And I like you because when I am feeling sad
You don't always cheer me up right away
Sometimes it is better to be sad
You can't stand the others being so googly and gaggly every single minute
You want to think about things
It takes time
I like you because if I am mad at you
Then you are mad at me too
It's awful when the other person isn't
They are so nice and hoo-hoo you could just about punch them in the nose

I like you because if I think I am going to throw up
then you are really sorry
You don't just pretend you are busy looking at the birdies and all that
You say, maybe it was something you ate
You say, the same thing happened to me one time
And the same thing did

If you find two four-leaf clovers, you give me one
If I find four, I give you two
If we only find three, we keep on looking
Sometimes we have good luck, and sometimes we don't
If I break my arm, and if you break your arm too
Then it's fun to have a broken arm
I tell you about mine, you tell me about yours
We are both sorry
We write our names and draw pictures
We show everybody and they wish they had a broken arm too

I like you because I don't know why but
Everything that happens is nicer with you
I can't remember when I didn't like you
It must have been lonesome then
I like you because because because
I forget why I like you but I do

So many reasons
On the 4th of July I like you because it's the 4th of July
On the fifth of July, I like you too
If you and I had some drums and some horns and some horses
If we had some hats and some flags and some fire engines
We could be a HOLIDAY
We could be a CELEBRATION
We could be a WHOLE PARADE

See what I mean?
Even if it was the 999th of July
Even if it was August
Even if it was way down at the bottom of November
Even if it was no place particular in January
I would go on choosing you
And you would go on choosing me
Over and over again

That's how it would happen every time
I don't know why
I guess I don't know why I really like you
Why do I like you
I guess I just like you
I guess I just like you because I like you.

The Dress

Obviously I have to start this off by confirming that I have no plans to get married in the immediate future, nor have I been asked to get married, or for that matter, asked someone else to marry me!

But there are so many lovely blogs online that I cannot tear my eyes away from.. And as I have done since I was little girl, I cannot help but be inspired for what could be one day.. Too many pretty pictures!

I am mostly resigned to the possibility of never getting married, but I can't say I don't ever want it to happen. I also often say I just want to elope to Vegas with that wonderful guy, and avoid all the unnecessary stress and expense. My Mum would kill me.

Marriage, to me, really is simply a public celebration and confirmation of the love between two people. I do hope that a commitment like that is in my future, and I hope that it does last a lifetime.

So if it does eventually happen one day, I think I really would like to have a special day with just a close circle of loved ones, with a really lovely, fun, party to celebrate. So please forgive me for gathering inspiration from the multitude of wedding blogs.. And where else can I display this inspiration, but right here for my lovely girls! Perhaps I'll get to make use of it all one day.... ;)

Well today ladies, I think I found The Dress.

From this gorgeous blog, 100 Layer Cake, they feature photo galleries from real weddings. It's quite addictive scrolling through them all!

Today's featured wedding was Salma + Ziyaad. And her dress actually made me gasp. It is just what I would choose. Is she not beautiful?! The dress was made by George Wu - a young Brisbane designer - the discovery of which made me twitch with joy that it was not someone so divinely out of the realm of possibility like Vera Wang or Monique Lhuillier..

Anyway - enough talk of weddings that are not my own! Just couldn't resist not sharing this..

Love Fridays

Happy four months to me and my Boy!

I used to love hearing stories from others of how they found their partners. How they met, how long it took before they got together, the timeline of the romance. Hearing true stories is infinitely more reassuring than reading 'self-help' books, as much I've adored all the books that have passed through my hands over the years.

I love the timeline my Boy followed.....

I love that we met on Christmas Night. Least expected time to meet someone special EVER!

I love that our first date was a month after meeting. Oh, and I asked him.

I love that he didn't contact me for EIGHT whole days after that first date. When he finally asked me out to a movie, I couldn't go on the date he suggested. He didn't take the hint from me that I still wanted to go out again. Why do I love this? Because..

He didn't give up. It took him a while, but he eventually gave it another stab, and asked me out again. Yay - finally a second date, two and a half months after the first!

I love that it was three weeks from that second date before he kissed me.

I love that it was another three weeks again before he asked me to be his girlfriend.

And I love that it has been four months since then, and I'm still his girlfriend.

None of it particularly conventional, but then, what is conventional anyway? Everyone has a different story, and that's what's so great! Romance is a wonderful thing!

If only he was here with me now and not in NYC..!!

Pic: weheartit

I love PIE

So I've totally been getting into Australian Masterchef on these quiet evenings when I have no Boy to amuse me. In the absence of a TV over here, I catch up with it each night on On Demand - can you believe I lived in NZ for 18 months before I discovered online television?! I'm now hooked!!! Haven't seen the internet bill lately though.. hmm..

So tonight was an awesome episode - Marion thrashed the Head Chef of Melbourne's MoVida (where I didn't quite go last time I was in Melbourne because of course they were booked out) in the Celebrity Chef Challenge with these incredible Bomba - potato bombs filled with chorizo, and chicken liver pate Cornettos. Uh-huh. My mouth is watering just remembering how delicious they looked. There is something very watchable about Marion, so I did some googling and discovered she has her very own food blog - The Hedonistic Hostess. I love my food blogs! Some of my other faves are The Highs and Lows of a Conflicted Cook, Stone Soup and Hungry and Frozen. I get so much inspiration from them, and the more pics and tips, the better!

I truly hope Marion doesn't mind me sharing this incredibly delicious-looking Cherry Pie recipe with you - all props to her - I've never made a pie before, but I need to get myself to the kitchen shop and find me a pie pan asap! Pie is such an American pudding isn't it? One of my regular pudding stop-offs here in Welly is Sweet Mother's Kitchen - the pies are to die for. Peanut Butter Pie, Apple Pie, Banana Cream Pie, Pumpkin Pie. All best served with cream, or you can do what the weird-ass Kiwi's do, and have it with Yoghurt, or Croghurt*....

* cream + yoghurt = croghurt... weird-ASS....

Check it out...

Home Sweet Cherry Pie

 

Baking says home to me.  I've been living in airports and hotels all over the country in the last couple of weeks.  I've been living on airport ham and cheese toasted sandwiches and soup-of-the-day room service dinners.  And all the while I've been dreaming about getting home, back to my kitchen, my oven and a homemade cherry pie.

Here's a sneak peak at the finished product so you know what I'm taking about...

I am a dedicated pie girl.  It's the pastry that has me hooked - pure buttery, flaky goodness.  Bad pastry means terrible pie.  The secret is to be cool with your pastry.  Have your butter chilled, roll it out on a cool surface (i.e. not near a hot oven) and handle it as little as possible.

The filling recipe comes from Nigella Lawson but I've teamed it with Maggie Beer's sour cream pastry. Maggie is my go-to-girl for pastry (sorry Nigella).  Her sour cream pastry recipe can be used for sweet or savoury pies and tarts.  And the best thing about it is it's dead simple.

I know pastry can be can be a scary thing for many people.  So I've put together a little picture book guide to make it all the more easy...

Put chilled butter and flour in a food processor and blend.

Stop when it looks like this:

Add sour cream and blend.  Stop when it looks like this:

 Tip out onto your bench and push it together. Don't knead it or play with it, just smoosh it together. Divide into two balls (one slightly bigger than the other).  Wrap and refrigerate.

Now let's get on to the business of rolling.  Take out and unwrap the largest ball of dough.  Use plenty of flour.  Flour up your bench, flour your rolling pin and dust the top of the pastry dough with flour too.  Go for a bit of a roll.  Then swivel your pastry around on the bench (this stops it from sticking).  Then roll again.  Keep rolling and swivelling until you've got something that looks like this...

Slide your pastry into your tin and pop it into the fridge while you get your cherry filling done.

  

Fill your pie, roll out the second ball of dough (the smaller one) and place on top of the filling.  Trim the edges and fold them over so it looks like this...

 

Poke a few holes in the top and if you're a bit naff like me you can top it with a cherry pastry cut out.  Brush with egg, bake and you should get something like this...

  A dollop of mascarpone or thick cream is all it needs.

I love you Home Sweet Cherry Pie.

Home Sweet Cherry Pie

Sour Cream Pastry:

200g unsalted butter, cubed and chilled

250g plain flour

135g sour cream

Filling:

680g jar morello cherries

60g butter, melted

180g sugar

2 Tbsp plain flour

2 Tbsp juice from drained cherries

1 egg, lightly beaten

mascarpone or thick cream to serve

Preheat oven to 200°C.

For the pastry, place flour and butter into a food processor and blend until it looks like fine breadcrumbs. Add sour cream and blend until it starts to come together and looks chunky (see pic above).  If it doesn't quite come together add 1 tsp cold water and blend again.  

Tip out onto a clean surface and push together into a ball.  Divide into two balls (about 2/3 and 1/3). The larger one will be the pie base and the other will be the pie top.  Wrap each ball in cling film and refrigerate for 30 mins.

Roll out the larger of the two balls to about 5mm thick.  Line your pie tin with the pastry.  I actually used a 23cm sponge cake tin.  Put into the fridge while you make the filling.

For the filling, drain cherries, reserving 2 Tbsp of the juice.  Mix together the butter, sugar, flour, and   2 Tbsp cherry juice.  It will be a pasty sort of mixture and you'll probably think it won't be enough to fill the pie but just have a little faith at this point.

Spread paste over the base of the pastry.  Top with the cherries.  Roll out the second ball of pastry dough and place over the filling.  Trim the edges so you've got about 2 cm of overhang.  Then fold the edges over so you've got a nice bit of crust.

Poke a couple of holes in the top of the pie for the steam to escape.  Brush top of the pie with egg.

Put pie into the oven and immediately turn the heat down to 180°C.  Bake for 50 minutes.  Check after 30 minutes and if the top is getting too brown, cover with foil and continue baking.

Remove and cool for at least 30 minutes.  Slice and serve with a giant dollop of thick cream or mascarpone.

Bucket List

Wasn't there some movie called The Bucket List? It has connotations for me of something old people compile as a list of things they wish they'd done when they still had the chance. Rather cheesy perhaps - I'm certainly not going to carry a list of experiences around in my purse to check off when I complete them.

Sarah Wilson has posted this morning on her blog about the Top Five Regrets of the Dying. This is something that has been on my mind the past couple of years following the sudden passing of my beloved Grandma. It's all about making sure you live a true and happy life because you never know when it will all be over. It's not morbid, or really about regrets at this stage (I'm only 31 for goodness sake) but it's about changing lifestyle and attitude so that when it comes to the bucket, you don't have any regrets.

And I'm all for living a happy life. I try to have a positive attitude as much as possible. I have a new relationship that I'm throwing myself into with all my heart. I'm pushing myself with my career so that I can say at least I tried. I think the saddest thing for many people is the 'not trying'. The fear that comes with putting yourself outside of your comfort zone. I'll have none of that thankyou very much - I thrive on the fear of the unknown!

Perhaps I should start a Bucket List, just to keep as a daily reminder that life is short, and I need to grab opportunities when they appear - or to take it one step further, make opportunities happen!

I think many of the items on my yet-to-be-written Bucket List would be visiting certain places in this massive world. Well New York is obviously on my list, or I wouldn't have this blog would I? So let's call New York Bucket List Entry #1.

So for something in the same vein, that I always mention with the tag - "I have to do this before I die"..

Bucket List Entry #2 - Visit Antarctica

My Dad has already been there. Jealous much??? He has some great old photographs of his time there - I can't remember if it was days or weeks that he spent there - he was in the RAAF for many years and took this massive Hercules down there on a transport visit. He still has all these old goggles and gloves and beanies and suits and rucksacks that he took on the trip. I even used some of them on school camps years ago.

So as soon as I have $10,000 to spare, I'll be booking a berth on a cruise ship down to the bottom of the earth! Highly likely I will be retired when this ever becomes a possibility... But at least it's on the list!

Do you have a Bucket List?

It's called a break up because it's broken..

If any of you have any advice for me on this one, I would hugely appreciate it.

My beautiful little sister has just been broken up with by her boyfriend of almost 7 years. They met when she was 18 and spent a year in the UK after high school. He moved to Australia to be with her when she went home. They bought an apartment together last October. She has been a student all this time, and just this year has finally found herself out in the real world as a lawyer. She is so smart, beautiful, friendly, and by all accounts an excellent girlfriend.

But not excellent enough. He has just decided he doesn't want to be with her anymore.

There's nothing I can do about that.. What I need to do is help her survive. They have been together her entire adult life, and what I see as totally awesome for her is that she is only 25 and has so much ahead of her. She will have guys queueing up as soon as they find out she is single. But I don't think she knows how to be single.

She had built up a life with this guy, who was well and truly part of our family. She now sees her entire life slipping away. She can't bear the thought of having to find a flat to share with other people. She believes if this guy didn't want her, nobody else will want her.

It's so difficult to know what to say, when I'm coming from the completely opposite perspective. I have been single pretty much my entire adult life, and only this year have found myself in a relationship. I have shared flats for the past 12 years, and am still doing it now! Yes, it totally sucks, but I do it because it's the best option for me right now. I want to impress upon her that this is not the end, but rather a new beginning for her. That she will find someone who wants her even more than this guy did. That she will find another home.

How do you survive a break-up like this? I've been through plenty of crushing crushes, and they are devastating for a period of time. You bawl your eyes out and think you're never going to find someone else, but then surely enough someone else catches your eye and you start all over again. I now think about me and my Boy and the thought of breaking up is quite terrifying. When I think about that magnified into a seven year relationship, I can't even come close to knowing how my sister must be feeling right now. I would think she just wants to crawl up into a little ball in the darkness and fade away.

I feel so sad for her. We were both crying on the phone last night. She had worked so hard to make this lovely life and it's now over. How do I help her see that she will be ok?

Bag Lady

I am such a bag lady. I used to work on the Mimco counter in David Jones. Imagine the staff discount, and then imagine how many Mimco bags I own. Yuh..

Ally and I must be on the same wavelength at the moment, having both just purchased fabulous little brown bags.

I brought one of them over to NZ with me, and decided very early on, when I started catching the bus to work, that this bag just wasn't going to work. It was a typical heavy leather day bag and it was killing my shoulder to carry it around everywhere. So on my limited budget, I tracked down a brown leather cross-body satchel, which has served me very well the past 18 months. I can't believe it lasted that long! That just goes to show how far I've come with my control over money. I used to buy a new bag every 6 months..

I've been bored with my brown satchel for a while now - it just hasn't been large enough to carry all my sh*t, especially through winter when I have lost two lovely woolen beanies because they haven't fitted in my bag, and as such have wandered off my lap when I wasn't looking. So I got some money for my birthday, and took myself along to the Mimco section of Kirks and bought myself this lovely little piece! The Road Warrior Sac. What an awesome name for a handbag!

Like Ally, I also have a few little niggling issues about the level of perfection with this bag - it doesn't have any little pockets for my keys, so I do have to rummage around looking for them. But on the plus side, there is a fabulous side zip that takes you straight into the bag without having to go in through the top zip. I like it. And there's a funky side panel of suede - which I really need to get waterproofed! Waterproofing spray is something I have owned many times in the past - every time you buy a new pair of shoes you are convinced by the shoe store that you also need leather spray to protect them. Where are all those cans of spray when you really need them, I ask you! And I totally love the studs on the bottom. This bag is light-weight, lovely soft leather, gorgeous caramel colour, totally adjustable handle so you can carry it as a handbag as in the pic above, or lengthen the strap to make it a satchel! Perfect!!

Ally - dispense with the guilt - us girls need a great bag to carry our life around in.. So happy you found yours - may have a long and happy life together!

x

Four Levels of Social Entrapment

Guest blogger today - I haven't felt the motivation to write for a while, most likely because I was struck down with my first bout of the flu in around 6 years on my birthday last week. I spent three whole days in bed, not reading, not watching DVD's, just sleeping. It was rather unpleasant! I'll get back into it shortly, I promise, but for now I just couldn't resist sharing this with you - absolutely hilarious, because it's true!!

The Four Levels of Social Entrapment from Hyperbole and a Half

Level 1: Brief encounters with kind-of friends

There is a special kind of awkwardness between two people who don't know each other well enough to interact effectively, but are familiar enough that ignoring each other's presence isn't really an option.  No matter how much you like the person, you dread encountering them because you only know two things about each other and once you've covered those two things, there is nothing else and that is terrifying because you aren't good at ending conversations and that makes the horrible, strained silence all but inevitable.

But eventually you do run into one of these acquaintances and even though you both sense the impending awkwardness and desperately wish to avoid it, you have a social obligation to say hello. So you do, and the conversation derails even more quickly than you expected.

And then there you are, standing clumsily in the parking lot of Best Buy, frantically trying to keep the conversation afloat until one of you can think of a decently acceptable way to end the encounter. You stop caring about whether you make sense or not.  You'll say anything to avoid silence.  

At some point, the rapidly deteriorating subject material forces you to give up on being polite and just settle for the first bumbling phrase that comes out of you.  

Luckily, your artless delivery doesn't matter. The other person is just thankful that they finally have an excuse to stop talking to you. 

For the rest of the entry, go here!